Many are mad, few are roaming

The ride home yesterday was a crazy one, if I may say so. I mean, that's the best way to describe it since I met a mad man. Yep, crazy sounds just about right. That's not even the scariest part.The most nerve-wrecking thing about the whole experience was that not only was I seated next to him, he was behind the steering wheel. Behind the steering of all things!a

God abeg, a mad man driving! In all my 20-something-plus years of living, I have never come across a more aggressive, hardheaded, hot-tempered, abrasive human being like that. Kilode!

This man's blood was boiling, one could almost see the steam coming out of his head. I have never seen a human being so ready to cause chaos, damage, and commotion. It was as though  anger was his oxygen.This dude was such an aggressive driver, didn’t allow any single car to come in front of him from another lane, and was ready to go head-to-head with anyone who didn’t want to give him space.Baba was even dragging with all those big red buses inside Lagos traffic. 

A particular car was trying to get in front of him, and he kept blocking. He was ready to push that man off the road if he kept trying.Then his madness peaked…that's how this baba started shouting, “You dey mad, you dey craze, if na die you wan die, I go kill you here, nothing go happen. If you wan come my front, you go first kill me, clear my car for road before I give you chance!”In my mind, I was like, “Bros, abeg abeg, you and who dem go clear for road? Abeg, na December we dey, you own no go spoil.” Our eyes will not see evil o.Another passenger, however, decided that inner thoughts and venting were not enough. She spoke up and told him, “Oga, calm down o. You're too aggressive, other people gave you chance, allow him.

You know that audio: “It was at this moment she knew she fucked up”, someone should have just played it right there, because what happened next really weak me. Bro began to shout, “Madam, mind your business o! No be you go dey teach me wetin I go do! Don't talk to me like that! I no be your mate… yadah yadah yadah… I get your type for house.” I don't know what scared me more in that moment, the fact that my life was kind of, somehow, in serious danger or the fact that somewhere out there, there's a woman that has to deal with this man every day of her life. Haaaaa, God please o.

 If you're a lady, just put your right hand on your head and decree, “I will not marry rubbish in Jesus' name!” And if you're a man, place your right hand on your chest and declare, “I will not be an oloriburuku husband in Jesus' name!”

Anyway, I digress. What happened next shocked me to my bone marrow. After the man had ranted and sulked for over three minutes, he vexed and said, “In fact, commot for my motor.”I opened my mouth in shock and thought to myself (make me sef no collect) “Commot your motor as how now, when we’ve already paid bus fare?”The woman first shock, she no even talk anything. This man didn't let it be o. He started shouting, “Your ear dey pain you? I say commot my motor!”Other passengers started clamouring, “Oga, it's okay. Make we dey go. Just dey drive your own.” 

The shock left the woman and she was now fully pissed, she matched his energy, “oya now, come carry me down! Have I not paid you? E be like say something dey worry you!”All this while, I'm still in utter shock, just observing. My beloved people, this man parked the car, turned off the engine, opened his door, walked to the other side, opened her door, and dragged her out o. Omo, e be like film. He removed a ₦500 note from his pocket, threw it at her, and said, “Na your change be that.” My jaw wanted to fall down from my face with how hard it dropped.The whole trip cost ₦1000. We had barely passed ⅓ of the journey. This man had picked her up from Ketu, and we had barely gotten to Owode Onirin when whatever was possessing him decided to start manifesting.Omo, mo wa very shocked. “Were leleyi o,” I said out loud.I started lamenting, “Ye, I don enter one chance. God abeg please save me.” I started fidgeting physically.I wanted to get down so bad, but I knew I'd be in more danger if I opted to stand on the roadside, because the chances that I'd see a vehicle going to Ikorodu by 8:30 p.m. around that side was very low.

Omo, I don't even have any motivational speech, words of encouragement, CTA, or anything. I was just in utter shock. I still am. My brain is still buffering.I guess the summary of the story is: “Many are mad, few are roaming, and your bus driver might just be among the few people that haven't made it to the streets yet.” Stay safe, guys.